


Last Goodbye

by zaynsbitxh



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Goodbyes, M/M, Oblivious Liam, Sad, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 03:41:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8828971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaynsbitxh/pseuds/zaynsbitxh
Summary: The five times Zayn said Goodbye and the one time he didn't."You don't know it's your last Goodbye until it's too late."





	

**Author's Note:**

> The bold words are lyrics from "The last Goodbye" sung by Billy Boyd

**"I saw the light fade from the sky, on the wind I heard a sigh"**

 

_Get off, you prick!_

Laughing, Zayn tried shoving Liam's hands away, but they kept tackling him to the ground.

_Stop, stop, stop_

Panting, laughing, faces much too close as the two boys hovered over each other, their chests colliding as Liam lost his strength.

Heat, crawling over Zayn's body, making him blush and turn his face away with a giggle, not sure, what the tingling in his stomach meant.

The heat covering his body.

The wild thumping of his heart.

The butterflies in his stomach.

_Heavy. You're heavy, man._

Grumbled mumbles, shuffling.

_M'not._

Liam rolled off him, making Zayn sigh in relief.

His body stopped being weird.

So did his heart.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Slow. Steady.

He didn't know he'd miss the race of his heart, the quickening sound of his pulse in his ears and his heated cheeks against the rush of air surrounding him.

_I gotta go._

Disappointment rushing through his body, as he raised.

Fumbling with his hands.

Sighing.

He didn't want to leave.

He never did.

Liams brown eyes staring up at him, full lips being stretched to a pout.

_S'not that late._

_It is, Liam._

He nodded.

_"Don't leave."_

That's what Liam should have said.

_"I won't."_

That's what Zayn should have answered.

But neither of them opened their mouths as they stared at each other, avoiding each other’s gazes.

_I uh-_

Zayns lips felt paralysed.

The words heavy.

_I gotta go now._

_Yeah._

Liam didn't look at him.

It hurt.

But still, Zayn turned around.

Walking away.

Mumbling a small and soft _goodbye_.

——

**"Night is now falling, so ends this day"**

 

_Are you high?_

_Absolutely._

Clouds of thick smoke surrounding them.

Zayn lazily sucking it out of the joint tangling between his plump lips.

Liams head in his lap.

He didn't know how it ended up there.

But he didn't mind.

At all.

A small point of red light glowing up, every time Zayn's cheeks hollowed.

Sucking.

Again.

And again.

_Liam._

Inhaling.

_I need you to get high._

Exhaling.

_Now._

Shuffling.

Two brown eyes staring at him.

Clouded by white smoke.

Those beautiful eyes.

_Why, Zayn?_

Zayn missed the weight of his head.

The warmth of his body.

Clouds.

In his head.

Thick, tiring smoke.

_I - I need you._

Exhaling.

Hitched breaths.

_W-what?_

Closed eyes.

He didn't mean to say that.

_I need you to get high._

Even though it's not what Zayn had meant.

His fingers, combing through Liam's soft hair.

Liam sucking in his breath.

Inhaling the smoke.

_Zayn, stop._

Sucking in his cheeks, exhaling.

Blurring smoke.

_No._

He couldn’t stop.

He had to touch him.

_Zayn._

Shaking his head, Liam pulled away.

Zayn shut his eyes.

Pain.

_Don't go._

Silence, thick silence.

Mixing with the smoke.

Blurring Zayn's thoughts.

_You can't do that, Zayn._

He knew.

_I know._

Silence again.

It hurt.

His steps.

Fading away.

Out of his sight.

Gone.

He was gone.

Inhaling.

Exhaling.

Higher, higher, higher.

His eyes rolled back.

His lips parted.

Thick smoke in his head.

He smiled, softly.

_Goodbye, Liam._

——

**"The road is now calling, and I must go away"**

 

_Happy birthday._

Zayn smiled, grinning widely.

Stretching his arms out.

They hugged.

Their breaths entangled.

United.

Chests pressed together.

But he had to forget.

About his twirling skin, the racing heart and his addiction to be close to him.

Always close.

He pulled away.

_I got you a present, Zayn._

Grinning.

Rustling of paper.

Scratchy paper.

Like his chin.

His beautiful face.

_You didn't have to._

Shrugging, winking.

Zayn gulped.

_I did anyways._

_I know. You always do._

Zayn looked away.

_I know._

Soft, tender voice.

It hurt, but he had to forget.

His fingers ripping open the paper.

A cut.

He ignored it.

He was supposed to be happy.

_I love it, Liam._

He loved him.

So much.

_Thought so._

But he didn't love him back.

And he never would.

_Thanks, mate._

He wanted to hug him.

Until his need disappeared.

But he held his distance.

Silence between them.

_Look, I have to go._

Zayns eyes started burning.

_Why?_

He always had to leave.

_I'm sorry, Zayn._

He nodded.

He always was.

_Can you hug me?_

Guilt in Liam's eyes.

_Zayn-_

Zayn squeezed his eyes shut.

_Not today, Liam. I - I need you to hug me. Please._

He didn't want to cry. Again.

He was supposed to be happy.

But he wasn't.

Even though Liam wrapped his arms around him, pulled him towards him.

Because he knew it wouldn't last. It would never last.

But he pressed his face into Liam's shoulder.

His fingers pulled on Liam's shirt, as he tried pulling him closer, because it was never enough.

Never enough.

Soft lips pressed against his forehead.

_I have to go._

_I know._

_You know, I don't want to._

Pleading, brown eyes.

Zayn tried to smile.

_Yeah._

Pulling each other close again.

Eyes closing.

Knowing.

Knowing it couldn't be.

It couldn't last.

_Goodbye._

——  

**"But I don't regret, nor will I forget, all who took the road with me"**

 

 

_I did it, Zayn, I did it!_

Liam, pressing his sweaty hands against Zayn's face.

Wide grins.

Happiness swirling through his body.

_I know, I knew you would, Liam._

Liams arms wrapped around Zayn's small body.

Tiny, next to him.

So tiny.

Thin.

_I - I can't believe it!_

Zayn smiled.

He was happy.

For him.

He loved his smile.

His beautiful smile.

Liams heart next to his.

_Thank you, Zayn._

A soft smile.

_For what?_

Surprise, in Zayn's eyes.

_Everything._

He pressed his head against Zayn's, so painfully close.

Liam had to stop.

Zayn wanted to kiss him.

So bad.

His soft lips.

Those beautiful lips.

_You're always there for me._

He was.

And would always be.

He loved him.

So much, it hurt.

Zayn pulled away, touching his cheek.

_I'm happy for you._

Grins.

Smiles.

Laughter.

Champagne.

_I'll make a toast._

Lazy, drunken words.

_To what?_

Sweet liquid savouring his tongue.

_To old Liam._

_Old Liam?_

_Old Liam._

Zayn raised his glass.

Mirroring Liams motions.

_To my old self, my lack of ambition and surprising luck._

Zayn grinned, lips on his glass.

Touching the cool material.

Even though they should be touching Liams lips.

_To old Liam - may he never come back._

Zayn nodded to his words.

Glasses clinking.

_Good bye old Liam._

——

**"We came all this way, but now comes the day, to bid you farewell"**

 

_Stop it!_

Zayn stopped Liam from tugging at his shirt.

Pouting.

_But it's hot in here._

Zayn rolled his eyes at him.

Trying to smile.

_Open the window then._

Liam grinned.

Coming closer.

Too close.

He would enjoy it any other day.

But not that day.

_What if I don't want to do that?_

Zayn didn't answer.

He couldn't.

Them, staring into each other's eyes.

Brown.

So brown.

And deep.

_I - I don't know._

He could almost feel his breath on his face.

Breath hitching.

Nervously rubbing his hands together.

He had to do it.

_But you always know everything, Zayn._

Gulping.

He had to stop.

Stop the thoughts.

The urge to lean forward.

_I don't._

_You sure?_

Zayn shook his head no.

Licking his lips.

Taking a tiny step forward.

_I have to tell you something, Liam._

Avoiding his gaze.

_What - Zayn?_

Silence.

Zayn looked up.

Smiling, hiding his pain.

_Close your eyes._

He did.

Eyelashes fluttering.

Zayn leaned forward.

Drinking in the sight of his beautiful face.

Breathtaking.

Painfully beautiful.

Their breaths united, hot on each others faces.

_Zayn?_

Liams voice, scratchy.

But it didn't stop Zayn as he leaned forward.

Closing his eyes, as they met.

As they collided.

Their pair of lips.

Melting.

United.

One.

Salty tears, running down Zayn's cheek as he pressed his lips on Liam's.

One last kiss.

And he said his last Goodbye.

——

**"As the snowflakes cover my fallen brothers, I will say this last goodbye"**

 

It was Liam, who found him.

His beautiful skin, pale.

His red lips dry.

It was Liam, who fell down on his knees next to Zayn, mixing his falling tears with Zayn’s unshed ones.

Right there, at the brim of his brown eyes.

Lifeless.

 _Gone_.

It was Liam, who took Zayn’s hand, crying into his fingers, sobbing until his body was numb.

Staring at the person, that had always been by his side.

The one person, that had always been there.

And now wasn't anymore.

Unspoken words, whispered into the silence.

_I'm sorry I hurt you._

_I'm sorry I broke you._

_I'm sorry I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you, Zayn._

Mumbled whispers.

Dry sobs.

Pain.

It was _Liam_.

Liam, by his side.

Liam, holding his cold hand.

Liam, softly closing his beautiful eyes, looking at them for the last time.

Liam, kissing his pale lips.

Liam, next to his crying family.

No one holding him.

Because he wasn't there anymore.

_Gone._

Liam, next to Zayn’s grave, dirt on his shoes, his face behind his hands.

_Liam._

He could almost hear his soft voice.

His sweet words.

His sobs.

Pleads.

His voice, everywhere.

_I love you, Zayn._

Blinking, tears in his eyes.

_Why did you leave?_

His head raised to the sky as he parted his lips.

_Why didn't you say goodbye?_

A grey, silent grave.

_Goodbye, Zayn._


End file.
